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Die Laughing (over 16s only)

Here's the deal. WE LOVE TO LAUGH.

Fans of the Dungeon know this, and often tell us the worst jokes you have ever heard. We are hoping you can do better...

Get published by The Dungeon

What's that? You have an amazing joke? Tell us. Tell us now. We'll spread the best jokes we get here via Facebook, Twitter and our steam-powered but valuable email newsletter. We'll even put your name next to it!

Of course you appreciate that we can't use all jokes, but that doesn't mean that we don't like the rude ones. We're people too... albeit despots, torturers and dung sanitation experts etc.

A few to get you started... but we know you can do better!

These are the 10 most recent jokes. See full archive here.

A man walks into a bar with a piece of Tarmac under his arm,
The batman says what can I get you ?
The man replies a pint of larger please and make it one more for the road !


A jump lead walks into a bar, the batman says ill serve you, but you'd better not start anything !


What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.


Why did Henry VIII have so many wives?
He liked to chop and change


Q.Why did the skeleton burp?

A.Because he didn't have the guts to fart!


Dr dr I have a piece of lettuce growing out of my bottom,
Ohh dear I'm afraid that's just the tip of the iceberg!

Jane again

A man goes to a construction site and asks have they any jobs going ?
The foreman says well can you make tea ?
The man replies yes ?
Foreman says can you drive a forklift truck,
The man replies why how big is your teapot ?


Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators??

It raises their spirits.


A man walks into Tesco and picks up a ribeana , and a bag of sugar.
The man pays for the ribeana but walks out with the sugar.
when the alarm beeps, the security guard asks the man, why did he steal the sugar?
the confused man replies...
"Eh on the back of the ribeana it said 'sugar free'."


What's a haunted chicken called ?
A poultry geist


See full joke archive.

Can you do better?

Let's hope so! Go on... bring us the FUNNY.
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“Come face-to-face with some of history’s most notorious characters in an evening you and your mum pals will never forget

Guy Fawkes will make sure you have an explosive time! It’s that evening you and your buddies have been planning for a long time – the legendary girls' night out –but where do you go?

While the children are safely at home with dad, why not opt for something a bit different and go back in time at The London Dungeon (now situated in South Bank opposite the London Eye) on one of their ‘Late’ nights.

You'll get to journey though London’s vivid, and sometimes dark, past, which is brought to life with a mix of rides, charismatic actors and detailed props.

The experience starts with the obligatory group comedy picture - one of you in the stocks ready to be beheaded while the rest of your camp is holding axes ready to do the deed.

Moving through the dark times of Henry VIII, having to prove you’re not a traitor in court, to Jack the Ripper stalking you through a desolate Whitechapel, you never know what’s going to come next which makes the surprises even more chilling.

Some of the highlights for us were getting to have a bit of one-on-one time with the off-the-wall Mrs Lovett, experiencing Sweeney Todd’s Barber shop up close and getting to see what life was really like during the plague.

You can see that a lot of money has been invested in the new setting for The London Dungeons to make it a scarier experience (for adults and children), but it’s the comedy that comes from the actors that makes the experience memorable.

Rides included in the experience give an extra adrenaline rush, from flipping chairs, free-falls and in-the-dark boat rides. Bravery is rewarded at the end with the opportunity to have a stiff drink at the dungeon tavern where a jester and some notorious characters will come and say hi.

Here at MFM HQ, we rate this a five star experience for mums who want to let their hair down, or if you children are brave types then they’ll more than enjoy getting stuck into some of London’s most gruesome moments.

Essential info:
- 18 shows, 20 actors and plenty of scary surprises
- Curtain up from 6.30pm, last entry at 8pm
- Meet Mrs Lovett, Jack the Ripper and a supporting cast of torturers, grave diggers and dark jesters at the bar.
- Tickets £20, book now at The London Dungeon.
- Nearest tube: Waterloo”

Amanda See more reviews...