Skip navigation (go straight to main content)

Choose a dungeon:
London
Amsterdam
Berlin
Blackpool
Edinburgh
Hamburg
San Francisco
York

Die Laughing (over 16s only)

Here's the deal. WE LOVE TO LAUGH.

Fans of the Dungeon know this, and often tell us the worst jokes you have ever heard. We are hoping you can do better...

Get published by The Dungeon

What's that? You have an amazing joke? Tell us. Tell us now. We'll spread the best jokes we get here via Facebook, Twitter and our steam-powered but valuable email newsletter. We'll even put your name next to it!

Of course you appreciate that we can't use all jokes, but that doesn't mean that we don't like the rude ones. We're people too... albeit despots, torturers and dung sanitation experts etc.

A few to get you started... but we know you can do better!

These are the 10 most recent jokes. See full archive here.

A man walks into a bar with a piece of Tarmac under his arm,
The batman says what can I get you ?
The man replies a pint of larger please and make it one more for the road !

Jane

A jump lead walks into a bar, the batman says ill serve you, but you'd better not start anything !

Jane

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.

Robyn

Why did Henry VIII have so many wives?
He liked to chop and change

Holly

Q.Why did the skeleton burp?

A.Because he didn't have the guts to fart!

Harriet

Dr dr I have a piece of lettuce growing out of my bottom,
Ohh dear I'm afraid that's just the tip of the iceberg!

Jane again

A man goes to a construction site and asks have they any jobs going ?
The foreman says well can you make tea ?
The man replies yes ?
Foreman says can you drive a forklift truck,
The man replies why how big is your teapot ?

Jane

Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators??

It raises their spirits.

Kirsty

A man walks into Tesco and picks up a ribeana , and a bag of sugar.
The man pays for the ribeana but walks out with the sugar.
when the alarm beeps, the security guard asks the man, why did he steal the sugar?
the confused man replies...
"Eh on the back of the ribeana it said 'sugar free'."

Nicole

What's a haunted chicken called ?
A poultry geist

Jane

See full joke archive.

Can you do better?

Let's hope so! Go on... bring us the FUNNY.
This will appear beneath your joke.
Optional, used only to let you know if your joke is published. Will not appear online.

What do our other inmates think?

Buy tickets

Save up to 30% when you book online with our Spring Saver ticket!

Book Tickets

or see our full range of tickets.

Open daily

See all our Opening Times.

“I would recommend it to everybody its a great family day out.I booked it online for the 10-11 session and we the first ones(or peasants shall I say) in the queue.It's great fun for all the family and a great way to re-visit London's history without going through textbooks and it's very cheap if you book it with more than one London attraction.Even words cannot really describe my experience but all I can say is that the London dungeons is worthy of more than 5 stars”

Stephannie See more reviews...